Make Friends With People Who Want The Best For You

This blog is designed to give people an inner look at a devotional life. Taking time each day to spend time with the Lord. The hope is if you travel on this journey with Rev. Jacob Shaw, you may be more inclined to spend time with the Lord as well. I encourage the use of a devotional, a scripture reading and prayer, then finally some form of artistic mark to tie it all together. 

Today's devotional is taken from: Peterson, Jordan B. 12 Rules for Life: an antidote to chaos. Great Britain: Penguin Random House, 2018. Rule 3: Make Friends With People Who Want The Best For You pp. 65 - 75

Opening Thought: To begin this third rule, Peterson shares information about his childhood, and some of the people he grew up with. In Peterson's depiction, he tells us about three individuals who had a depressive disposition: drug abuse, anger, and lack of self-preservation to name a few of the characteristics that Peterson describes. The long-term stories of these people did not play out well for them, one of these people ended up committing suicide. In contrast, Peterson speaks about young folk, himself included, who wanted more out of life than drugs and sprawling out in a high. These people found their way beyond the limitations of their hometown and did wonderful things with their lives. Though at this point Peterson’s rule has not been articulated with full prescription, it is clear where he is going with this point. It is better to surround yourself with people looking to make the best out of life, rather than be surrounded by people who are a drain on life. If you wish to be successful in life then surround yourself with people who hold the same ambitions, their ambition and mindset will be intoxicating, and you will grow along with them. For it to be truly healthy, they would also have to be genuinely kind and hope for your success. But if you surround yourself with people who are falling short of the mark, similarly, their behavior can envelop you, and you too begin to fall short of the mark.

This is a powerful message, which has very practical implications. If you want to be happier, surround yourself with happy people, if you want to be more adventurous, surround yourself with adventurous people. You wouldn't jump into a pool if you wanted to stay dry. 

Opening Prayer: Loving God, you call us to take your gospel to all people. However, for our day-to-day living, we must have stable support in our lives. So, we ask you to send us people which we can walk together with us, with a similar will and a similar mind. In Christ's name, Amen.

Reflection: I remember I first notice a real-life application of what Peterson is talking about while I was working in my student ministry placement. I had been sent to Owen Sound, and though the population of Owen Sound was sizable enough, there was a very strong presence of individuals, which locals designated as “townies”. These townies were people born in town who would never grow beyond their starting situation and would live their days out until died in town. To be a townie was different than a person who had returned home after some life adventure and choose willingly to return to their place of origin, or the person who always stayed local but build a respectable life. Townies were the local "subclass" of people, who had no ambitions beyond the taboos discovered in adolescence, and like Peterson described with his story, these people were also often addicted to drugs, suffered from depression, and had no self-preservation. Occasionally, I would meet a person, who seemed to be stuck in this “townie” lifestyle, struggling to get by, but when I would speak with them, all I could see was so much untapped potential. It baffled me, that these people were stuck in such poor circumstances. I remember talking with a colleague about this discovery and they related it to Alcoholic Anonymous, that people who are in recovery often must break ties with friends who perpetuate the negative behaviors in their lives. It can often be the people we surround ourselves with that will keep us locked in a lifestyle that sets us back. I took this info my colleague had shared and returned to these few people I had discovered, and in every case, they had a social group that had, for one reason or another, stagnated during their adolescent years, they still saw life’s main goals as serving the impulses of partying and getting a quick affirmation or high. Thus, these talented and gifted people were perpetually trapped by their companions.

Scripture Brought to Mind: 2 Corinthians 6:14

Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?

As Christians, we must find a good balance in our personal lives. If we are trying to live a life in pursuit of righteous living and serving the will of God, we cannot be bound to people who are not. At least not in the sense where their godlessness would affect our faith and behavior. This, however, doesn’t mean we don’t try to bring the gift of repentance to the wicked, in hopes that they too will find the righteous path. This, of course, is part and partial to the evangelistic portion of Christianity. However, between our witnessing to the unbelievers of this world, we need to make sure we are yoked with firm believers because it would be exhausting to always feel like you are battling against those who are closest to you.

This point is very important for parents to consider too. If you hope to see that your children grow up to be dedicated, hardworking, and compassionate individuals, you must first be those things consistently for them. Children are forcibly yoked to their parents or care providers. So, if you wish to see them grow into their best selves, you first must show them what your best self is, to the best of your ability, at all times.   

Continual Work: Look at your social groups, family members, and habits in your community and ask yourself if there are people or habits in your life which have yoked you to a lifestyle that is leading in the wrong direction? Are there people or habits that you may need to distance yourself from?

What Rev. Jacob is Working On: Now that I have a kid, and another on the way, I am constantly looking at the people who I invite into my house with a critical eye. More than I ever have. I ask, “are these people good to have around my children, will they be a healthy influence?” I will do this as long as I have breath in my body.

Prayer for your week: Lord, help us to have a discerning mind to who we keep close to us in our personal journeys. We ask that you strengthen our personal connections, so we may have a strong foundation of support as we aim to take your gospel into the world. Amen.

Artistic Close:

Being a friend who wants what is best for others can be a challenge too, it can be difficult to not fall into one-way relationships, make sure you are also being dedicated to the well-being of others and calling them to the path of righteousness.